I Met a Famous Author

I know, not one of my more creative titles, but it’ll do.

Anyway, Chris Crutcher came to speak to our creative writing class today. It was awesome. He’s one of those writers who is just as good with his speech as he is with his words.

I read Chinese Handcuffs in preparation for his visit, and I had to think about the book for a while. I decided that I liked it and I would like to read more.

That being said, I actually was able to give him the address to my blog. That means he might actually read it.

I should probably put something good up here. Poo.

Alright, I Give In.

I think that I have reached a point in my life when I can write about the one thing I never see anything about. Thus, the title of this post.

Those involved in my creative writing class the actually read this sad little existence of a blog will know how much I have despised the Natalie Goldberg tapes and her droning, monotonous lectures on memoirs.

Yes, I do plan on writing something that is memoirish to an extent. It will be a combination of essays, creative writing journal entries, and memories of course.

I think it’s about time that people know what Multiple Hereditary Exostoses is and how it affects people. It’s a chapter of my life that I think I’ve left finished for the most part, I just need to write the epilogue.

I am well aware of how ludicrous the previous statement about MHE was as the mutation that I have is a very, very rare occurence–unless you live in Mexico. For some odd reason, a lot of people in South America seem to have it.

Anyways, I digress. I doubt anyone will actually want to read about MHE. It’s not something that people might really take seriously, but it has a deeper affect that most people would realize. Of course, most people just look at the surface.

Maybe that’s why I’m writing this. I need to show that people need to look at the bottom of the pool, not just the pretty water on the top.

I think including my rants and the like in there will help that.

Most of all, I think I need to justify to this world and to myself who I am and why I am that person. After all, I’m going to be famous one day.

And He said, “Let there be Light!”

Yeah, don’t know what provoked that title. I didn’t go to church this morning, and I always feel guilty about that.

Two of the three students in the bible class that I teach on Wednesday nights were saved this morning. To think, I could have been the one that led them to God

Well, congratulations to them. It’s a big thing, especially at such a young age. Raise them up in the way of the Lord and they will not stray from it.

Moving…Maybe

Well, soon, this blog is going to be part of my site that LaLa is so graciously hosting. You’ll get to have penties of fun with that.

Hopefully that will occur soon.

I Am Teh Honored

Yes, the spelling mistake is deliberate. It is the gamer way to use teh when addressing something that is just too awesome.

Anyways, my friend and fellow creative writing classmate Elise has asked to use some of my writing for her speech stuff. That’s awesome. I think that’s awesome.

I actually just want to gather all of my creative writing journals and rants into one happy page and let the anger flow away from me. I actually think the whole journaling process has been very healthy for me, since I would otherwise be bottling up all those angry feelings until one day I jumped over the host stand and killed some poor hapless man just inquiring as to where the bathroom was. You know, it’s not like they don’t walk right by it! It’s got a frickin’ neon orange glowy sign that says “RESTROOMS,” but I’m apparently just too observant.

See what I mean?

Best Answer, Biatches!

I answered a question on Yahoo! Answers and the person who asked the question chose mine for best answer bitches. I feel strangely accomplished. How sad.

Go figure it was a question about Windows. ><

 My Yahoo! Answers moment of glory.

Wasn’t There a War Going On?

It’s still pissing me off that the most newsworthy items of the week have been Anna Nicole Smith and Britney Spears.

Alright, Anna Nicole Smith is DEAD. She’s been dead for well over a week now. I think it’s time her fifteen minutes of fame ended and you move on to the fact that our soldiers and DYING IN A WAR!

Britney Spears shaved her head. That’s all that needs be said on it. She did something crazy and stupid AGAIN. Why does everyone care so much? The baseball team at my school shaved their heads once because they made playoffs. Cancer patients lose their hair because the chemo. Some people are just bald because they’re old. Hair loss it common. It happens.

Last I checked, we have thousands of troops marching around in a foreign country to protect our freedoms. I thought that was newsworthy, but apparently it’s not. We have thousands of people dying of genocide in Darfur. That’s not top news either. Hell, there are hundreds of thousands of people living and dying on the streets but we have to focus all of our attention on Anna Nicole Smith and Britney Spears.

Way to go America. You’re the greatest.

Oh, Motivation! Where Art Thou?

I can’t really seem to getting anything concrete going lately. Like now, I could probably be doing a million more productive things than writing another blog post today. Unfortunately, as much as I’m screaming at myself to do so, I just can’t get out of this damned computer chair.

I know of one reason as to why I’m so damn lazy this week:

IT’S COLD!!!

It was 30-something degrees this morning when I went to wait for the bus and it’s supposed to be 27 tomorrow! Better yet, it’s going to be 22 tonight. I live in the armpit of the United States! It’s humid, moist, and it smells bad.

IT’S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE 22 GODDAMNED DEGREES OUTSIDE!

I’m going to go write fake horoscopes now.

Every Now and Then

It’s rare that I stumble across a story in the news that plugs in the life support keeping my faith in humanity alive.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/meast/02/14/shubert.hospital/index.html?eref=rss_topstories

According to this, the staff of this hospital hasn’t been paid fully in nearly a year, but they still keep their hospital running as best they could. In fact, the doctors that were getting paid higher than the other gave up some of their wages so the poorer staff members could get the money they needed to support themselves and their families.

I can’t imagine that hospital charges people a hell of a lot. If they do, they don’t expect to get any money back. After all, more than half of Palestinians live in poverty.

 I suppose it takes a special breed of people to keep going under those conditions. I doubt you’ll find any hospital in the United States doing that. We just wish our doctors were that awesome. I mean, we have such advanced medical technology, but we pay out the ass for it.

That’s why I’m waiting for some sort of vaccine against my appendix exploding and my tonsils dying. I can’t get insurance, and I’m not paying them money to cut me, especially not that much money.

Hundreds, thousands of dollars to remove an organ that doesn’t even have a use anymore.

Thanks, Uncle Sam and Ronald Reagan, for making my health care impossible to obtain.

Is it over yet?

I worked a five hour shift at work yesterday. I usually use this long period of time in which I do nothing to catch up on the news because they always have at least one tv on FOX news. Unfortunately, the news was gripped with the death of Anna Nicole Smith.

It’s living proof–well, I can’t say living proof–that everyone’s a saint when they die. Few speak ill of the dead, but everyone is free game when they’re alive.

How horrible. We should change the old saying.

If you can’t say anything nice, wait until the person’s dead and you’ll think of something.

I like that. Pure genius.

Anyway,  I accomplished my greatest achievement last night in the three months that I’ve been working at Buffalo Wild Wings.

We have a set of pagers, things that vibrate and light up whenever your food or table is ready, and the amount of these pagers has been slowly dwindling. Well, a group of assholes (excuse the colorful language) had been waiting there for twenty minutes to get their food, because we use the pagers primarily for takeout orders. When they got their food, they tried to take the pager in retaliation for having waited so long.

And I chased that bastard down! He got halfway across the parking lot, but I caught him! We only have about 8 pagers left, so I was going to be damned before someone stole another one.

I deserve a raise. None of the other hostesses would have chased that guy across the parking lot just for a pager.

I hope that I will be making $6.50 by the end of next month.

Ah. The Novel.

Well, I haven’t gotten any feedback anywhere else so I’m going to post it here. This is the very very very very first part of the my very first chapter of the novel I intend on writing. It’s reached its peak as far as I’m concerned. The only way it can improve now is to get some feedback.

Because I plan on updating it and such, I’m making a page for it if you guys don’t mind. Just click on the page that says “alter ego” and you’re off.

Hm. Interesting.

Why do we consider the death of Anna Nicole Smith to be breaking news? If my grandmother dies, I’m sure it would be a few hours before someone told me and it certainly wouldn’t make more than the 150 word obituary ripple in the newspaper.

Good News, Everyone!

I have recovered from my short-term illness and will be ready to get back to work. Speaking of work, I’ve got some tonight. While the strong urge to pee every 10 minutes is a rather decent excuse to miss school, you have to pass out and/or become hospitalized to miss work.

At least, that is the opinion of my managers.

I would like to point out that this is my first post that is not a journal entry from my creative writing class. As you can see, though, I have nothing else of interest to put here. Maybe I’ll start writing some of that deep thought crap that prompts our journals every morning.

Or I could post Elegy Written in a Country Churchyard and depress all of you by realizing how meaningless your lives are.

While I did post an earlier rant about how I hate poetry, you’ll note that I was talking of the more modern stuff. I actually find myself to be quite fond of Thomas Gray and John Donne. Death Be Not Proud and Meditation 17 spoke to me in quite a profound way.

Or rather, they just made me think a little bit.

Of the poem I spoke earlier, Elegy Written in a Country Churchyard, I would shake my head at the fool who does not find this moving. After all, it poses the same question everyone else asks.

“What will everyone think of me after I die?”

Click here to read Elegy Written in a Country Churchyard.

Ugnn.

My pee sack is infected. Cry.

Everything In This Journal is a Lie

Creative Writing Journal for December 12, 2006

I’ve spent the last several weeks recalling events and people in my life. I remember a russian mafia queen telling me that Buddha had been her roommate in college but he left to find himself. Years later he turned up in a settlement on Mars, reportedly under arrest for public intoxication.

Being centuries old, of course, I have experience many more strange things than simply that. I once knew a supervillain whose dog turned him into the police. We spoke on the topic for hours, sitting in some sad tavern somewhere in the cast openness of medieval Eurasia. God finally grew tired of his whining and smote the traitorous beast.

I found that to be almost as amusing as the time my Uncle Molotov took me to the Incendiary Cow Festival. It was to celebrate an old Soviet Russian tradition of exploding cows to protect from zombies.